More Gwrth​-​gitâr

Here’s a video of me attempting to answer the question ‘If I don’t know how to play any chords, what else can I do with this thing?’ in front a live audience, with my pal Ash on the other side of the table answering a similar question, but in his case he does know how to play chords, he just chooses not to.

Posted in Live, Music | Comments Off on More Gwrth​-​gitâr

Gwrth​-​gitâr

My friend Ash and I have recorded an album of guitar duets, and the album is available to buy on CD or digital formats via Linear Obsessional Recordings. It’s not your usual Live Forever / Wonderwall-inspired acoustica, but we’re proud of it and had a lot of fun recording it. Gwrth​-​gitâr is a term we coined – it means anti-guitar, because although it doesn’t reject melody outright, it rejects the need for it. It’s inspired by the question ‘we all know what an acoustic guitar is normally used for, but what else can it do?’.

Posted in Music, Real News | Leave a comment

Spraingksths

As middle-age sets in, I continue to churn out music. You can download this one for free, or you can buy a limited edition CDr in a beautiful wooden (teak veneer) case, or you can do neither.

‘Spraingksths’ is a word invented by Bambos, to whom the album is dedicated. It’s the longest possible single-syllable word (in terms of standard English phonemes).

Posted in Music | Leave a comment

Car Park

Ebbw Vale has a very photogenic multistorey car park.

293A3805b

293A3808b

293A3804b

293A3809b

293A3811b

Posted in Photography | Leave a comment

Niche appeal music, volume 3

I spent a couple of days over the Christmas break messing around with an old 6-chord JubelTöne zither that I found at a car boot sale. It’s seen better days, and has not been tuned. This is what happened:

Posted in Music, Real News | Leave a comment

Niche appeal non-music

In preparation for a new project I recently went through my archives of field recordings, fragments of various sound bits collected over the years. I’ve recorded a lot of pointless audio, it’s true, so I ended up deleting a whole bunch of stuff that was badly recorded, or just boring, but in amongst it all were some things that were worth keeping. So I thought that with a bit of editing, some of them might be interesting for other people to hear. I’ve compiled them into three volumes, because no-one wants to be presented with a single, huge archive dump, do they? Plus, of course, creating three volumes means a more impressive discography (and more entries on discogs.com).

Posted in Music, Real News | Leave a comment

Niche appeal music, volume 2

I’ve recently been messing around with an old three-quarter-size guitar I found at the car boot sale. It was £2, had no strings, saddle or nut, so I added those myself, and given that it’s quite difficult to play properly (not that I actually have much interest in doing so), I’ve been figuring out what else it can do. Here are the results of some of my investigations. Preparations include fidget spinners, paper clips, sandpaper, wool, suction cups, a cactus and roll-on deodorant. It some of it seems a bit ‘warts and all’, well, that’s the nature of research.

and here’s the third and final part of the acoustic guitar trilogy, recorded on a full size with steel strings.

Posted in Music, Real News | Leave a comment

Niche appeal music

Like one of those infuriating rural bus services that publish no music for years and then suddenly release two albums at once, I’m delighted to announce that despite not having published any music for years, I’m suddenly releasing two albums at once. I’ll write more about these later (maybe – no-one’s actually reading this, are they?), but for now here are the plain facts:

CAHN INGOLD PRELOG: Tolerance
2xCD, Recordiau Prin
“… imagine yourself unexpectedly released into an alien forest filled with swamp mist and static electricity…”

The Master Musicians of Dyffryn Moor: Cerddoriaeth Ddefodol Gogledd Sir Benfro (Ritual Music of North Pembrokeshire)
2xLP, Amgueddfa Llwch
Ritual trance music from rural Wales, performed on kitchen utensils and garden tools.

Posted in Music, Real News | Leave a comment

Spoblongs

While driving along one of Britain’s motorways recently, I was overtaken by a lorry that was prominently decorated with the web address SPLOGISTICS.CO.UK. It amused me because SPLOGISTICS is a funny word, but it was especially amusing because my initials are SP, so if I had a logistics company, I’d definitely want to call it SPLOGISTICS. So, on returning home I immediately established the following companies. Their main line of business should be self-explanatory.

SPADVERTS
SPAMPS
SPAMULETS
SPANCHORS
SPANDREX
SPANKLES
SPAPPLES
SPAPPS
SPAWNINGS
SPAXLES
SPEBONY
SPECCLESCAKES
SPEFFIGIES
SPEGGS
SPELVIS
SPHUMPS
SPICECREAM
SPIGUANAS
SPIMPLANTS
SPINCHWORMS
SPINK
SPLAMBS, SPRAMS & SPEWES
SPLAMPS
SPLASHES
SPLATS
SPLOCKS
SPLODGE
SPLODGERS
SPLODGING
SPLOGS
SPLOOPS
SPLOTTERY
SPOBLONGS
SPODDITIES
SPOILS
SPOLIVES
SPOMELETTES
SPONIONS
SPOPERA
SPORANGES
SPOTTERS
SPOVALS
SPOWLS
SPOXYGEN
SPRAKES
SPREAMS
SPREEDS
SPRIBS
SPRIDGES
SPRIMS
SPRINGS
SPRINKS
SPRODS
SPROOFS
SPROOTS
SPROUTES
SPRUDDERS
SPRUSK
SPUDDERS
SPUNCLES
Posted in Lists, Nomenclature | Leave a comment

Hospital Waiting Rooms

A list of people it’d be confusing for me to share a hospital waiting room with, sorted by increasing potential for confusion.

1. Simon Jones
2. Simon Prosser
3. Simon Proffwell
4. Simon Proffidd
5. Simon Prophet
6. Simon Proffitt-Please
7. Simon Proffitt-Toroomnumberthree
8. Simon Proffitt-I’mafraidwehavesomeratherbadnewsforyou
9. Simon Proffitt-Getoutofherebeforewecallthepolice

Posted in Lists | 1 Comment